Rogue's gallery picture

Rogue's gallery picture

Mary headed off to Boston yesterday to visit with her elderly parents. So this morning, I was on breakfast duty and did not ski. Instead, the adventure of the day was starting the process of getting my passport renewed.

As I am fairly technical, I though I would first visit with the US State Departments website to find out how to renew my passport. They have a complete set of descriptions on how to get or renew a passport on the web at http://travel.state.gov/passport/passport_1738.html.

I do all of my work on an Apple Mac (G5 DP for those interested). The primary Mac browser is Safari. Naturally, the US State Departments passport Web Page does not open using Apple Safari. (Of course, you would think that the web designers in the US Government would be browser agnostic to encourage free market competition. But, I guess since the richest man in the world, Mr. Gates, is probably one of the largest tax payers to the US Government...you do the math.) Curiously, the State Departments Web Site worked properly on my Mac using Firefox....so it goes!

With browser incompatibilities sorted out, I proceeded to fill in the passport renewal form. Of course, the State Department does not let you renew your passport online. They only capture all of the information and generate a PDF formated file which you download to your computer so you can print it out and mail it to them. I guess with the Patriot Act and other national security concerns, the State Department website is not quite to the 21st century yet....so it goes!

So with my Passport Renewal PDF downloaded to my computer, I send it to the printer to create a hard copy for mailing. No problem there. I write a check out to the State Department for $127 dollars for expedited service so that I can get my new passport in 4 weeks or less(regular passport renewals are taking 10 weeks these days). And I am out the door to get a Passport Photo and mail in all of the paperwork.

I head off to Rutland. 10 years ago, I had my passport picture taken at a camera store on Route 4. Oops...the camera store is out of business, another victim of Amazon.com, or Walmart. A big "For Lease" sign is on the building...so it goes!

I remember a conversation I had yesterday with Walt on one of the chair lifts at Killington. He mentioned that he had gotten his passport picture taken at the Rutland Post Office. A quaint affair with a vintage Polaroid camera. Since the camera store was shut, it seemed like a good idea to head straight to the Post Office... short of driving the streets of Rutland looking for an alternative.

I arrive in the Post Office, ask a nice post office clerk (I must be getting old.. she was quite cute) where to go to get my passport taken care of, and she points to a large sign 10 feet away from her directing people looking for Passports down a corridor to an office deep in the bowels of the building....so it goes!

I arrive in the office, speak to another nice lady, and am ushered in to sit down beside 1 of 2 office chairs in front of a white screen. (Walt had warned me about the 2 chairs.) The nice lady sits down beside me and grabs a vintage 1970 2 lens Polaroid and proceeds to hold it 5 feet from my face. Smile. Blinding Flash. Picture taken. Actually very efficient.

I go back around the counter. The nice lady now wants to see my paperwork to make sure it is filled in ok. I give it to her. She reviews it and says there is a problem. It turns out that the State Department form on the web is 6 pages long. The instructions say to discard pages 1 and 2. Pages 3 and 4 are the actual form, which I filled out and signed. Pages 5 and 6 are the State Department Terms and Conditions for receiving a passport, and other various government instructions. I had not brought pages 5 and 6 with me to the post office. The nice lady told me I needed to submit pages 5 and 6 with pages 3 and 4 so that the State Department would know I had seen the T's and C's. Fortunately she just happened to have a copy of pages 5 and 6 (I think she has seen this behavior before) which she staples to pages 3 and 4....so it goes!

About this time, a timer on the other side of the office dings. My passport pictures are ready. The nice lady peels of the Polaroid paper from the pictures. She cuts the picture to separate them into 2 distinct pictures. She holds the picture up to a State Department provided picture template. Oops...she had held the camera too close to my head. According to the State Department picture template, I have a fat head (if they only knew)...so it is back around the counter to the 2 chairs to have my passport picture taken again....so it goes!

Back around the counter I go. Sit in chair 2. Nice lady sits in chair 1. Holds camera 6 feet from my head. Smile. Blinding Flash. Picture taken. How easy is this!

The nice lady asks me to stay in chair 2 until she can see the picture to make sure everything is ok. While we are waiting, the nice lady has to deal with several angry prospective passport holders who have sent in their material in early January but have not yet received their passports. They did not go the expedite route. The nice lady shrugs... says there is nothing she can do... (I am glad I chose the expedite route I think)...so it goes!

Ding! New photos are ready. Peel off the Polaroid paper. Cut the picture in two for 2 distinct pictures. State Department plastic photo head size template check. My head is no longer fat. I can leave chair 2 and go back around the counter. Real progress is being made here.

As I am going the expedite route, I instruct the nice lady that I want to send the renewal information via next day priority mail. I also want to have the passport sent back to me by next day priority mail after the renewal application is processed by the State Department. No problem. 2 Priority mail envelops appear. I fill in the first to send the passport renewal off to be processed. It identifies a receiving address somewhere in Philadelphia. The nice lady then hands me information to fill in the return envelop to have the new passport sent to me overnight. It has a sending address of the Thomas P O'Neil building in Boston. Hmm... my passport paperwork with my passport pictures are going to Philadelphia but my new passport is coming from Boston... interesting.. I detect the possibility of a a future so it goes!

Anyway, with the paperwork filled out, I give all of the material to the nice lady. She looks at me with confusion. "No.. you need to take this to one of the clerks at the front of the building to pay for everything." "OK", I respond. "Do you have a receipt I can give the clerk so I can pay for everything?" I ask. Oops.... "I need to write one up"..."No problem... just give it to me and I will give it to the clerk"..."No, I can't give it to you.. I will bring it directly to the clerk....you can meet us there"... deja vu... so it goes!

I gather my things and head back out to the front of the building. One of the clerks, an older gentleman, is busy. But the cute post office clerk is available. Things are looking up.

The nice lady from the bowels of the building appears. She heads to the older gentleman. oh oh... In perfect post office speak, he tells her he is busy so she goes over to the cute clerk... Score!.. at least the day is now a little brighter. We exchange pleasantries, I hand the cute clerk a $50, she hands me back almost $7 and the deal is done. According to the cute clerk, the State Department will have my renewal application by noon tomorrow. She gives me a tracking number to follow the package. The deal is done....I hope.

All told the process costs me $170 dollars including $60 for the actual renewal, $67 in expedite fees, $15 for vintage 1970 passport photos, and $28 in priority mail charges. Oh... I forgot.. also about an hour online hunting down the State Department information, an hour driving back and forth from Rutland, and about 45 minutes in the post office. By the end of April, if all goes well deep inside the government bureaucracy, I will have my new passport in hand... I hope... so it goes!